Speeches for Best Men, Maids of Honour, Best Women and Best Mates
Being asked to be your friend’s right-hand person on their wedding is really a double edged sword. The good part is that it shows they value your friendship, trust your judgement, and want you to be a key part of their big day. The bad part is, well… all of the above. They’re trusting you to entertain the crowd, nail the tone of your speech, and get everyone smiling at them at the end.
Your speech is probably the one with the most expectations attached to it. People really want to be made to laugh, but – with so many horror stories from TV, film and real life – there’s also often a tension ahead of your speech, as people wonder if you’ll say something truly offensive, give away a buried story from the groom’s past, or proposition granny. So no pressure.
The trick here is to know what to do with these expectations – to know where to push the limits, where to draw the line, and which material will hit that brief. That’s where we can help.
Whether you’re struggling to find the time, the confidence, or the perfect words, we will work with you to make you sound like the best version of yourself, telling stories that light up the room and make the couple glad they picked you.
There are a few ways this can work, and we’ve outlined the differences in the pricing below. But the basic principles stay the same:
Once you pick the type of help you need, we will get back to you as quickly as possible (always within 24hrs) and put you in touch with your writer, who will support you from start to finish.
We’ll speak to you (via Zoom, phone, email or in person, depending on convenience) and get a feel for who you are, what you want to achieve and what you’re worried about, as well as getting into the details for the speech itself.
Once your writer understands your needs, they’ll send across an outline of their thoughts and ideas, and, if you’re happy with that, get to writing. You can relax and wait for your first draft.
When you receive your first draft you’ll see what you make of it, and discuss any changes with your writer – anything from “can we try a different theme?” to “that’s not my kind of humour”, or even “can we just move that comma?” It’s your speech, and that means it has to be just right for you.
You’ll go back-and-forth with your writer as much as you need to in the time we have, until you are happy with your speech.
...we will always be 100% discreet.
Our prices are based on what you need from us, which will broadly fall into one of the following categories:
If a blank page is staring back at you and you just don’t know what to do, don’t worry: we’ll take the reins, and work with you to create your dream speech.
We’ll get ideas and information from you, come up with a structure and some themes, draft the speech and edit it, with your input, until you’re happy. All you need to do is give us some information, and we’ll handle all the rest.
You’ve been waiting… and waiting… and waiting… for inspiration to strike. Now your wedding is imminent, and you’ve run out of time! If your speech needs to be delivered in 5 days or fewer, pick this option.
You’ll get the same attentive service as the regular Full Works, but at top speed.
For when you’ve got your ideas together, made a start and written something, but you’re not sure what. You’ve already done some heavy lifting (hence the lower price), so if there’s a speech in there we’ll find it, polish it, and make it work for you.
If we think the only option is a major overhaul we might suggest the Full Works, and will be happy to discuss alternative ways forward.
Achieve a professional standard, giving you the peace of mind that your script is “stage-ready” before you step up to the microphone.
There are a hundred different ways to give a wedding speech, and, as with all things, context makes a big difference. But if you follow these principles, you should end up in a good place:
The most common question with a simple answer – typically, 7-10 minutes is great. Shorter than that and your audience might feel short changed, while going over risks losing their attention. If you have to go long, don’t go past 12 minutes. You might also aim for 5-6 minutes if you and your partner are both speaking separately. Try to speak at around 120 words a minute.
Most of your speech should be about your friend – or friends – getting married on the day. Whoever asked you to take on this role is your focus. There are a few key things people will want to hear about: how you and your friend get along and why. What makes this friend so great. And, of course, the many times they’ve done something stupid and utterly embarrassed themselves! More than anything people want your speech to make them laugh, so you want to be talking about funny occasions, characteristics and behaviours that everyone will recognise. But don’t use up all your time talking about just one person. The day is about the couple. An often overlooked topic is the positive impact that your friend’s partner has had on your friend and, with any luck, how you now get on with them as a couple. You don’t want it to sound as though things were better for your friend before they met their partner! It should be clear how your friend’s life is enhanced by the person they’re marrying, and how happy you are for them. In essence: focus on your story, make it a speech that only you could give, and don’t worry about thanking the bar staff (or your speechwriter!).
This totally depends on your audience and your friends. While the couple will set the overall tone, it’s worth knowing that everyone will expect your speech to be a little funnier and a little bolder than the others, and on that basis you have some leeway to push the boat out a little more. In your role, people will expect that the butt of most jokes will either be your friend who is getting married, or you. But you don’t want the audience’s lasting impression to be wondering why anyone would ever want to marry your friend, or invite you to their wedding! A good rule of thumb is to think about the oldest and youngest people in the room. If a joke will make them both laugh, great! Keep it in. If you want to make a joke that you’d be uncomfortable saying directly to those grandparents and children, ask yourself whether you have to say it and – if you feel that you do – whether there’s a way to do it so that they won’t get it, but won’t feel left out for more than a moment. You want the grandparents to think you’re a bit cheeky, but not downright objectionable. Otherwise, light-hearted jokes, self-deprecating humour and a decent bit of mockery will always go down well, but know the limits – try to stay away from any specifics about exes, bad behaviour or criminality! If you have any doubts about how guests – and, in particular, the couple’s families– might react, test the water with the couple.
Please, don’t! As much as they’ll have been used 10,000 times at other weddings and have therefore been proven to be somewhat effective, if anyone in the room has heard the joke before, they’ll immediately think “oh, they’ve not put much effort into this…” This is doubly true when the happy couple have given you the honour of a prominent role in proceedings – you want to show that you’re a good friend! A little effort here will go a long way. You’ll have a lot more fun, and you’ll be funnier for being yourself.
It’s not essential, but it will help. At the very least, you should find the time to read through your speech half a dozen times before the big day. If you can do more, do – it’ll help you to relax when the time comes, and you’ll spot little things you want to tweak and change. You also don’t have to read out loud, but if you can do that a few times, do. It’ll help you figure out your pace and your delivery, and you’ll get a better idea of where to emphasise words and lines, when to pause, and when to breathe.
There’s no golden rule here, but if you can have the contents of the speech sorted with 2-3 weeks to go, you’ll be in a great place. Depending on how you write, that might mean starting to pull ideas together 4-8 weeks before the wedding. If you write it a year before the wedding, it’s likely to be out of date by the time of the wedding, and you’ll have to make plenty of changes, or even start over. Equally, if you leave it to the last minute you’ll be putting much more pressure on yourself than you need to, and won’t have had time to come up with your best ideas.
There’s a cliché in film and TV where speakers dramatically throw away sheets of written words to “really speak from the heart.” It looks good when they do it, but it’s worth remembering – these are actors delivering scripts! For most people who aren’t improv comics, it’s best to plan ahead. There are a few good reasons why. Firstly, you have so much else to think about on the day that you’re not likely to be firing on all cylinders. You might forget something that, afterwards, you’ll feel was crucial, or find yourself halfway through your time with no idea what to say next. Writing it down means you’ll definitely be saying what you want to. Secondly, some preparation shows that you care. Taking the time to figure out the best way to say what you want to say will make your speech all the more impactful, and you’ll be more satisfied by the time you sit back down. Lastly, it’s a real confidence-builder. Having a script ahead of time; holding the words in your hand when you get up to speak; hearing the audience reaction and thinking “this next line is going to kill!” as you’re speaking – all of this will make you a better speaker, and you’ll enjoy your day far more.
