Speeches for Best Men, Maids of Honour, Best Women and Best Mates
Being asked to be your friend’s right-hand person on their wedding is really a double edged sword. The good part is that it shows they value your friendship, trust your judgement, and want you to be a key part of their big day. The bad part is, well… all of the above. They’re trusting you to entertain the crowd, nail the tone of your speech, and get everyone smiling at them at the end.
Your speech is probably the one with the most expectations attached to it. People really want to be made to laugh, but – with so many horror stories from TV, film and real life – there’s also often a tension ahead of your speech, as people wonder if you’ll say something truly offensive, give away a buried story from the groom’s past, or proposition granny. So no pressure.
The trick here is to know what to do with these expectations – to know where to push the limits, where to draw the line, and which material will hit that brief. A great speech from a friend can keep the audience guessing, surprise them, entertain them and move them, all in just a few minutes. That’s where we can help.
Whether you’re struggling to find the time, the confidence, or the perfect words, we will work with you to make you sound like the best version of yourself, telling stories that light up the room and make the couple glad they picked you – which is, ultimately, the whole point.
There are a few ways this can work, and we’ve outlined the differences in the pricing below. But the basic principles stay the same:
Once you pick the type of help you need, we will get back to you as quickly as possible (always within 24hrs) and put you in touch with your writer, who will support you from start to finish.
We’ll speak to you (via Zoom, phone, email or in person, depending on convenience) and get a feel for who you are, what you want to achieve and what you’re worried about, as well as getting into the details for the speech itself.
Once your writer understands your needs, they’ll send across an outline of their thoughts and ideas, and, if you’re happy with that, get to writing. You can relax and wait for your first draft.
When you receive your first draft you’ll see what you make of it, and discuss any changes with your writer – anything from “can we try a different theme?” to “that’s not my kind of humour”, or even “can we just move that comma?” It’s your speech, and that means it has to be just right for you.
You’ll go back-and-forth with your writer as much as you need to in the time we have, until you are happy with your speech.
...we will always be 100% discreet.
We are upfront about our prices and the services we provide – it’s good to know what you’re getting, and that we don’t double the cost when we see the word “wedding.” Our products are based on what customers most frequently want, which is usually one of three things:
If a blank page is staring back at you and you just don’t know what to do, don’t worry: we’ll take the reins, and work with you to create your dream speech.
We’ll get ideas and information from you, come up with a structure and some themes, draft the speech and edit it, with your input, until you’re happy. All you need to do is give us some information, and we’ll handle all the rest.
Billing is discreet.
You’ve been waiting… and waiting… and waiting… for inspiration to strike. Now your wedding is imminent, and you’ve run out of time! If your speech needs to be delivered in 5 days or fewer, pick this option.
You’ll get the same attentive service as the regular Full Works, but at top speed.
Billing is discreet.
For when you’ve got your ideas together, made a start and written something, but you’re not sure what. You’ve already done some heavy lifting (hence the lower price), so if there’s a speech in there we’ll find it, polish it, and make it work for you.
If we think the only option is a major overhaul we might suggest the Full Works, and will be happy to discuss alternative ways forward.
Billing is discreet.
We aim to give you the peace of mind that your script is “stage-ready” before you step up to the microphone.
There are a hundred different ways to give a wedding speech, and, as with all things, context makes a big difference. But if you follow these principles, you should end up in a good place:
The most common question with a simple answer – typically, up to 10 minutes is great. Shorter than that and your audience might feel short changed, while going too far over risks losing their attention. If you have to go long, try to stay under 12 minutes of material, but if pausing for laughs on the day takes longer, that's fine. After all, you are the entertainment. Just try to keep the material sharp and focused, and try to speak at around 120 words a minute.
Most of your speech should be about your friend – or friends – getting married on the day. Whoever asked you to take on this role is your focus.
There are a few key things people will want to hear about: how you and your friend get along and why. What makes this friend so great. And, of course, the many times they’ve done something stupid and utterly embarrassed themselves! More than anything people want your speech to make them laugh, so you want to be talking about funny occasions, characteristics and behaviours that everyone will recognise.
But don’t use up all your time talking about just one person. The day is about the couple. An often overlooked topic is the positive impact that your friend’s partner has had on your friend and, with any luck, how you now get on with them as a couple. You don’t want it to sound as though things were better for your friend before they met their partner! It should be clear how your friend’s life is enhanced by the person they’re marrying, and how happy you are for them.
In essence: focus on the story of your friend's improved life, make it a speech that only you could give, and make it clear that this is a great person and a great couple.
This totally depends on your audience and your friends. While the couple will set the overall tone, it’s worth knowing that everyone will expect your speech to be a little funnier and a little bolder than the others, and on that basis you have some leeway to push the boat out a little more. In your role, people will expect that the butt of most jokes will either be your friend who is getting married, or you. But you don’t want the audience’s lasting impression to be wondering why anyone would ever want to marry your friend, or invite you to their wedding!
A good rule of thumb is to think about the oldest and youngest people in the room. If a joke will make them both laugh, great! Keep it in. If you want to make a joke that you’d be uncomfortable saying directly to those grandparents and children, ask yourself whether you have to say it and – if you feel that you do – whether there’s a way to do it so that they won’t get it, but won’t feel left out for more than a moment. You want the grandparents to think you’re a bit cheeky, but not downright objectionable.
Try to make your jokes inclusive, so that about 80% of the audience are with you at all times. Think of this as an example: you might have met your friend at university, and you know 10 other people at the wedding the same way. There are 100 guests at the wedding. One or two quick stories from nights out, student parties or hungover lectures will probably keep around 80% of people entertained because they're broadly relatable, and tell the audience something about your friend. But if you spend too much time talking about uni days and rely on assumed knowledge of which bars in town were awful, you're soon narrowcasting to just 10% of the audience, and not developing the picture of your subject.
The most successful jokes will be the ones that reveal something about the character of your friend, their partner, or you, and which a broad range of people will recognise.
Otherwise, light-hearted jokes, self-deprecating humour and a decent bit of mockery will always go down well, but know the limits – try to stay away from any specifics about exes, bad behaviour or criminality! If you have any doubts about how guests – and, in particular, the couple’s families– might react, test the water with the couple.
Please, don’t!
It may seem like a handy shortcut, but a wedding speech is a human thing for a deeply human occasion; getting Google or artificial intelligence involved makes it far less human.
It's also worth pointing out that you've probably been chosen for this role because your friends already think you're funny; using a quick algorithm to generate a joke isn;t going to sound like you, while working with a professional speechwriter should just make you sound like you at the top of your game.
As far as AI goes, it might be able to give you a general all-purpose speech, but keep in mind that it can’t be creative, and is only based on things it has read elsewhere. It can produce a speech-shaped document, but it won’t be personal or particularly interesting, and, as with jokes from Google, it will start to feel like something anyone could say – not something uniquely yours.
We have heard of people asking ChatGPT to rank their speeches out of ten, but nobody has invited ChatGPT to a wedding and it hasn’t developed an opinion on what sounds good in the room, so its scoring system doesn’t make much sense!
As for jokes from the internet, much as they’ll have been used 10,000 times at other weddings and have therefore been proven to be somewhat effective, if anyone in the room has heard the joke before, they’ll immediately think “oh, they’ve not put much effort into this…” It’s a bit like inviting your friends around with the promise of a fancy meal, and then serving them chips as a main and vanilla ice cream as a dessert. Nobody’s unhappy, but it’s not quite what they were hoping for. A little effort here will go a long way, and you and your guests will have a lot more fun.
It’s not essential, but it will help. At the very least, you should find the time to read through your speech half a dozen times before the big day. If you can do more, do – it’ll help you to relax when the time comes, and you’ll spot little things you want to tweak and change.
You also don’t have to read it out loud, but if you can do that a few times, it'll be worth it. It’ll help you figure out your pace and your delivery, and you’ll get a better idea of where to emphasise words and lines, when to pause, and when to breathe.
Practice builds confidence and familiarity, which will make you a better performer. As the main entertainer among the speeches, that extra confidence can really help you if you have to deal with anything a bit unexpected, like microphone issues, crying babies, dropped drinks trays or heckling friends. You'll find it much easier to think on your feet, and then get back to what you were saying.
There’s no golden rule here, but if you can have the contents of the speech sorted with 2-3 weeks to go, you’ll be in a great place. Depending on how you write, that might mean starting to pull ideas together 4-8 weeks before the wedding. If you write it a year before the wedding, it’s likely to be out of date by the time of the wedding, and you’ll have to make plenty of changes, or even start over. Equally, if you leave it to the last minute you’ll be putting much more pressure on yourself than you need to, and won’t have had time to come up with your best ideas.
There’s a cliché in film and TV where speakers dramatically throw away sheets of written words to “really speak from the heart.” It looks good when they do it, but it’s worth remembering – these are actors delivering scripts!
For most people who aren’t improv comics, it’s best to know most of what you're going to say ahead of time. There are a few good reasons why.
Firstly, you have so much else to think about on the day that you’re not likely to be firing on all cylinders. You might forget something that, afterwards, you’ll feel was crucial, or find yourself halfway through your time with no idea what to say next. Writing it down means you’ll definitely be saying what you want to.
Secondly, some preparation shows that you care. Taking the time to figure out the best way to say what you want to say will make your speech all the more impactful, and you’ll be more satisfied by the time you sit back down.
Lastly, it’s a real confidence-builder. Having a script ahead of time; holding the words in your hand when you get up to speak; hearing the audience reaction and thinking “this next line is going to kill!” as you’re speaking – all of this will make you a better speaker, and you’ll enjoy your day far more.
