Speeches and eulogies for commemorations, wakes and funerals
When a life ends, it can be incredibly hard to know what to say. How do you do justice to someone in just a few short minutes? How do you identify what you want to share while you’re processing all sorts of difficult emotions? How do you speak from the heart if it feels like yours is breaking?
Eulogies can be some of the hardest speeches to give – but also the most important and cathartic. You can remind your audience of the good times, as well as the sad ones. Make people laugh, even as they’re crying. Commemorate someone who has meant a lot to a lot of people, while being true to their personality and wishes.
It’s a lot to take on at an already difficult time. So it’s perfectly natural to look for some help.
Whether you’re struggling for time, searching for the perfect words, or just don’t have confidence in your speaking abilities, we will work with you to build you up and make you sound like the best version of yourself, taking a weight off your shoulders.
We’ll work through your stories, ideas and recollections, and turn them into a speech that really does justice to the person you’ve lost. With our expertise, care and attention, you can rest a little easier and focus on the people around you, knowing that you have a speech which you will be proud to give.
There are a few ways this can work, and we’ve outlined the differences in the pricing below. But the basic principles stay the same:
Once you pick the type of help you need, we will get back to you as quickly as possible (always within 24hrs) and put you in touch with your writer, who will support you from start to finish.
We’ll speak to you (via Zoom, phone, email or in person, depending on convenience) and get a feel for who you are, what you want to achieve and what you’re worried about, as well as getting into the details for the speech itself.
Once your writer understands your needs, they’ll send across an outline of their thoughts and ideas, and, if you’re happy with that, get to writing. You can relax and wait for your first draft.
When you receive your first draft you’ll see what you make of it, and discuss any changes with your writer – anything from “can we try a different theme?” to “that’s not my kind of humour”, or even “can we just move that comma?” It’s your speech, and that means it has to be just right for you.
You’ll go back-and-forth with your writer as much as you need to in the time we have, until you are happy with your speech.
...we will always be 100% discreet.
Our prices are based on what you need from us, which will broadly fall into one of the following categories:
If a blank page is staring back at you and you just don’t know what to do, don’t worry: we’ll take the reins, and work with you to create your dream speech.
We’ll get ideas and information from you, come up with a structure and some themes, draft the speech and edit it, with your input, until you’re happy. All you need to do is give us some information, and we’ll handle all the rest.
You’ve been waiting… and waiting… and waiting… for inspiration to strike. Now your wedding is imminent, and you’ve run out of time! If your speech needs to be delivered in 5 days or fewer, pick this option.
You’ll get the same attentive service as the regular Full Works, but at top speed.
For when you’ve got your ideas together, made a start and written something, but you’re not sure what. You’ve already done some heavy lifting (hence the lower price), so if there’s a speech in there we’ll find it, polish it, and make it work for you.
If we think the only option is a major overhaul we might suggest the Full Works, and will be happy to discuss alternative ways forward.
Achieve a professional standard, giving you the peace of mind that your script is “stage-ready” before you step up to the microphone.
If you follow these principles, you should end up in a good place:
Anywhere between 5-10 minutes, at around 120 words a minute. That’s a broad range, but that’s because there can be a varied number of speakers at a funeral – anything from just one to half a dozen or more. The more people there are speaking, the less time each is likely to get, so you’ll want to confirm these details ASAP and plan from there.
Your focus is going to be on the deceased, but there is often so much to cover that it can be hard to know what to home in on. The deciding factors here are likely to be whether anyone else is speaking, and how long you have. If you’re the only speaker, you may be looking to paint a picture of an entire life. If you’re one of several you, might be focusing in on just one aspect – what they were like as a parent, a colleague or a friend.
In any case, you’ll be talking about the memories you have of the deceased, and what you’ll remember about them in the years to come. Try to think of three or four anecdotes which illustrate something about their character and which will ring true with your audience – acts of generosity, bravery, kindness or even foolishness all have a place, depending on the impression that you want to give.
Although eulogies are usually given in sombre circumstances, your aim is still to celebrate the deceased, giving your audience the chance to take some comfort from your words. Try to focus on the good times wherever you can, and talk about the joy that this person brought to the world.
That’s not to say you should sugar-coat their lives. It’s often good (and more realistic) to spend a moment on something like an annoying habit everyone will recognise, or some petty argument you once had which, in hindsight, reminds you of their fighting spirit. You might be surprised by how fondly people remember these moments.
In essence: try to paint a rounded picture of the deceased, celebrating their life while acknowledging a human frailty or two. Make it a speech that only you could give, and which you think the deceased would enjoy hearing.
This totally depends on the deceased and your audience. As much as you will be upset, try not to be too doom-and-gloom, and recognise that you are paying tribute to the deceased and offering comforting messages to those left behind.
If your relationship with the person you’re commemorating was all about jokes and making each other crack-up, then humour is an absolutely appropriate way to remember them. But if it was more reserved, then your speech should match that. If you’re not part of the deceased’s family, it’s also a good idea to check this question of tone with them – they might have a vision for proceedings and it’s important that you respect that.
In general terms then, some light humour balanced with a few more serious reflections should go down well, and if you think it’s appropriate to try to get some real belly-laughs out of people, go for it.
For a eulogy, it’s definitely recommended. You emotions are likely to be high on the day, and if each line hits you afresh when you’re delivering it, it might be a real struggle to get through your speech. Try to find the time to read through your speech at least half a dozen times before you deliver it. If you can do more, do – it’ll help you to feel more comfortable when the time comes to speak, and you’ll spot little things you want to tweak and change too.
You don’t have to read out loud, but if you can do that a few times, do. It’ll help you figure out your pace and your delivery, and you’ll get a better idea of where to emphasise words and lines, when to pause, and when to breathe – if you think you might get choked-up on the day, some practice here will really help you to keep that in check.
There are a few good reasons to plan ahead, and get some help.
Firstly, some preparation will help you to figure out the best way to say what you want to say. You’ll end up more satisfied that you’ve done the deceased some justice by the time you sit back down. You can also get input from other people, and if others are speaking you can make sure that your speech doesn’t step on their toes. All of these people will be glad you’ve prepared.
Secondly, on the day of your speech you are very likely to be distracted. And understandably so. Emotions always run high at funerals, even if the loss has been a long time coming. At a wake, there will be lots of people to talk to, and to console and commemorate with. You might forget something that, afterwards, you’ll feel was crucial, or find yourself halfway through your time with no idea what to say next. Getting it written down means you’ll definitely be saying what you want to.
Lastly, it’s a real confidence-builder. Having a script ahead of time; holding the words in your hand when you get up to speak; hearing the audience reaction and thinking “this next line is going to land really well” as you’re speaking – all of this will make you a better speaker, and you’ll feel more present on the day.
For all of these reasons, getting help for a eulogy is one of the most stress-reducing things you can do during a time of loss. We are experts in helping you to say what you want to say – not putting words in your mouth, but understanding your wants and your intentions, and finding the best way to express them in words you would use.
