Speaking at My Own Wedding
Speeches for brides, grooms, civil partners and knot-tiers.
Finding what to say can be hard
With 1,001 things to arrange – from venues, music and outfits, to flowers and where to sit that friend – preparing for your wedding can be stressful. With decisions to make and options to discuss, it can be easy to lose sight of what the day is all about: celebrating your love, and the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.
That’s what your speech is for. It’s the moment to put the spotlight on your relationship… Which is why, even if you find the time to sit down and get writing, it can be hard to find what you want to say!
That’s where we can help
Whether you’re struggling to find the time, the confidence, or the perfect words, we will work with you to make you sound like the best version of yourself, on what should be one of the best days of your life. With our expertise, care and attention, you can take a chunk of stress out of your day, knowing that you have a speech which you, and your loved ones, will love.
Some people get a dance instructor or personal trainer ahead of their wedding, but nobody talks about the quality of the first dance or the size of your waistline at the end of the day – we can help you with the bit people will remember.
The Process
how we can help
There are a few ways this can work, and we’ve outlined the differences in the pricing below. But the basic principles stay the same:
Choose
Once you pick the type of help you need, we will get back to you as quickly as possible (always within 24hrs) and put you in touch with your writer, who will support you from start to finish.
Initial Chat
We’ll speak to you (via Zoom, phone, email or in person, depending on convenience) and get a feel for who you are, what you want to achieve and what you’re worried about, as well as getting into the details for the speech itself.
Ideas
Once your writer understands your needs, they’ll send across an outline of their thoughts and ideas, and, if you’re happy with that, get to writing. You can relax and wait for your first draft.
Draft
When you receive your first draft you’ll see what you make of it, and discuss any changes with your writer – anything from “can we try a different theme?” to “that’s not my kind of humour”, or even “can we just move that comma?” It’s your speech, and that means it has to be just right for you.
Final Product
You’ll go back-and-forth with your writer as much as you need to in the time we have, until you are happy with your speech.
pricing plans
how we can help
Our prices are based on what you need from us, which will broadly fall into one of the following categories:
The Full Works
£225
"I really have no idea where to even start!"
- Complete creative partnership
- Strategic speech structure
- Collaborative editing process
If a blank page is staring back at you and you just don’t know what to do, don’t worry: we’ll take the reins, and work with you to create your dream speech.
We’ll get ideas and information from you, come up with a structure and some themes, draft the speech and edit it, with your input, until you’re happy. All you need to do is give us some information, and we’ll handle all the rest.
The Full Works, FAST
£325
"I’ve left it late, and I still have no idea where to start!"
- Rapid five-day turnaround
- Top priority status
- Guaranteed high quality
You’ve been waiting… and waiting… and waiting… for inspiration to strike. Now your wedding is imminent, and you’ve run out of time! If your speech needs to be delivered in 5 days or fewer, pick this option.
You’ll get the same attentive service
The Tidy-up
£175
"I’ve got something written but I need an editor!"
- Complete creative partnership
- Strategic speech structure
- Collaborative editing process
If a blank page is staring back at you and you just don’t know what to do, don’t worry: we’ll take the reins, and work with you to create your dream speech.
We’ll get ideas and information from you, come up with a structure and some themes, draft the speech and edit it, with your input, until you’re happy. All you need to do is give us some information, and we’ll handle all the rest.
dont worry, we've all been there!
Common questions and answers
Achieve a professional standard, giving you the peace of mind that your script is “stage-ready” before you step up to the microphone.
There are a hundred different ways to give a wedding speech, and, as with all things, context makes a big difference. But if you follow these principles, you should end up in a good place:
How long should my wedding speech be?
The most common question with a simple answer – typically, 7-10 minutes is great. Shorter than that and your audience might feel short changed, while going over risks losing their attention. If you have to go long, don’t go past 12 minutes. You might also aim for 5-6 minutes if you and your partner are both speaking separately. Try to speak at around 120 words a minute.
What should I talk about?
Mostly, your relationship and the person you’re marrying. Other speakers will probably be sharing stories of the two of you as individuals, so your job is to convey to your audience why you’re marrying this person, and what your life together is like. Quite a few people will spend most of their 10 minutes thanking the caterers, photographers and musicians, and bantering about their best friends. By the time they get to their other half, it’s already been eight minutes, and guests are looking for refills. If you mention almost everyone, you also risk making the few people you didn’t mention feel left out! That being said, as the “hosts” for the day one of the couple will often mention some of the people who couldn’t join you on the day (friends in other countries, family who have passed away), and will raise a toast to absent friends and family. As you’re ending your speech, it’s also good to say something – kind or otherwise – about the next speaker, by way of an introduction. In essence: focus on your story, make it a speech that only you could give, and don’t worry about thanking the bar staff (or your speechwriter!).
What kind of jokes are ok?
This totally depends on your audience, but a good rule of thumb is to think about the oldest and youngest people in the room. If a joke will make them both laugh, great! Keep it in. If you want to make a joke that you’d be uncomfortable saying directly to those grandparents and children, ask yourself whether you have to say it and – if you feel that you do – whether there’s a way to do it so that they won’t get it, but won’t feel left out for more than a moment. Otherwise, light-hearted jokes, self-deprecating humour and some light mockery will always go down well. You’ll know your audience best, and as The Happy CoupleTM you’ll have all the power to set the tone, so if you do want to push it just make sure you know how far is “too far” – it’s often not as far as you think! And if you have any doubts about how your partner’s guests might react, check with them.
What about jokes I’ve found online?
Please, don’t! As much as they’ll have been used 10,000 times at other weddings and have therefore been proven to be somewhat effective, if anyone in the room has heard the joke before, they’ll immediately think “oh, they’ve not put much effort into this…” It’s a bit like inviting your friends around with the promise of a fancy meal, and then serving them chips as a main and vanilla ice cream as a dessert. Nobody’s unhappy, but it’s not quite what they were hoping for. A little effort here will go a long way, and you and your guests will have a lot more fun.
Do I need to practice?
It’s not essential, but it will help. At the very least, you should find the time to read through your speech half a dozen times before the big day. If you can do more, do – it’ll help you to relax when the time comes, and you’ll spot little things you want to tweak and change. You also don’t have to read out loud, but if you can do that a few times, do. It’ll help you figure out your pace and your delivery, and you’ll get a better idea of where to emphasise words and lines, when to pause, and when to breathe.
How far ahead should I plan?
There’s no golden rule here, but if you can have the contents of the speech sorted with 2-3 weeks to go, you’ll be in a great place. Depending on how you write, that might mean starting to pull ideas together 4-8 weeks before the wedding. If you write it a year before the wedding, it’s likely to be out of date by the time of the wedding, and you’ll have to make plenty of changes, or even start over. Equally, if you leave it to the last minute you’ll be putting much more pressure on yourself than you need to, and won’t have had time to come up with your best ideas.
I don’t need to have a speech written ahead of time, do I? Surely I can just freestyle it and say what I’m feeling on the day?
There’s a cliché in film and TV where speakers dramatically throw away sheets of written words to “really speak from the heart.” It looks good when they do it, but it’s worth remembering – these are actors delivering scripts! For most people who aren’t improv comics, it’s best to plan ahead. There are a few good reasons why. Firstly, you have so much else to think about on the day that you’re not likely to be firing on all cylinders. You might forget something that, afterwards, you’ll feel was crucial, or find yourself halfway through your time with no idea what to say next. Writing it down means you’ll definitely be saying what you want to. Secondly, some preparation shows that you care. Taking the time to figure out the best way to say what you want to say will make your speech all the more impactful, and you’ll be more satisfied by the time you sit back down. Lastly, it’s a real confidence-builder. Having a script ahead of time; holding the words in your hand when you get up to speak; hearing the audience reaction and thinking “this next line is going to kill!” as you’re speaking – all of this will make you a better speaker, and you’ll enjoy your day far more.